Season 50, Episode 9: Not Okay, Jimmy

Ah, man, Christian. This is the saddest I've felt about a vote off yet. And such a terrible way to go, too. So unfair.

I'm talking about Jimmy Fallon's loser prize of having to vote for yourself, which Christian gained after failing to finish a Survivor logo puzzle on the floating-barge-with-anchors-dropping challenge journey. Similar to what winner Rachel Lamont successfully completed back in season 47, except she had a kind of ball puzzle/game. I'm not sure what was harder, but I can imagine it feels impossible to focus on a task when you hear the ropes unwinding and anchors plunging into the sea.

NO challenge has ever been more stressful to watch. Despite his efforts, Christian has his non completed puzzle whisked away and we watch it sink, a defeated man left behind, trying not to cry. And then he tells us that he feels stupid. And we can't console him. It's honestly heartbreaking. More so because we know that back at camp Jonathan is selling tickets to the Vote Christian Off Show. At least that's what the edit tells us.

So, in the last episode, Deven's retrieved his fake idol at tribal council. The one he and Christian developed a plan to plant and use when needed. It's the wrapping for the Billie Eilish Idol and Devens had stashed in near the tribal council fire, behind a rock or two. When he thought he was a risk to go home, he used a question from Probst as an opportunity to announce that he had "a clue" to an idol, but he hadn't yet been able to get the idol. He got up, walk over, pulled away the rock, retrieved the wrapped up nothing, and took his seat again. Meanwhile, Emily looked deliciously flabbergasted. At home, on our couches, it was--yes, Rizgod--absolute cinema. And while we hear some disdain for the showiness of it this episode, as it happened, everyone looked to be caught up in the excitement. Maybe not thrilled about it (especially if you are Coach or Chrissy), but wowed.

At the beginning of the episode, it looks like everyone wants Devens to go, mostly because his showy idol retrieving moment at tribal council rubbed people the wrong way. I ask you, though. what's wrong with a show? And it did possibly save him from going home. It was a good move. It was an exciting move. What's more--as Cirie tells us--it puts a spotlight on Devens. So I don't know why Joe and Jonathan were so bugged by it. Emily says she's a little mad about it because she's aligned with him, but, Emily, it still makes Devens a possible shield for you. And, again, it very possibly saved his butt. So Devens seems to be the name and Christian decides he needs to get the heat off Christian so he tries to flip it to Ozzy. His big mistake is going to Cirie and trying to sell this idea. Ozzy is Cirie's number one and she's going to do whatever she can to save her number one.

It's a noble effort by Christian. He wants to save Devens. He wants to keep his alliance safe, including himself. But it makes him the target because when Ozzy hears about Christian pushing his name, he's pissed. Christian was already on thin ice with him because of the Mike vote out. Jonathan doesn't appear to have any qualms with going after Christian because of the last vote, when Christian didn't follow through on voting Devens and Aubry.

So Christian is being seriously haunted by past actions. And he doesn't have enough allies to save him. Emily tries, but she ends up putting herself in danger when she also tries to pitch an Ozzy vote.

I have to wonder, who does everyone assume Cirie is aligned with? Do they see her as with them or more like a free agent? She's apparently masterful at hiding just how close she is with Ozzy. And no one (except Chrissy) has ever seemed to give Rizo much consideration.

Aubry pretty wisely has recognized the danger of being associated with the middle (she was in trouble last time) and sells herself as a number for Jonathan. And Jonathan--having lost Chrissy and Coach in one fell swoop--could use some numbers, so it really is a smart move despite the hurt in my heart with her dumping the trio of beautiful nerds.

So while Christian is feeling the wound of defeat on the barge, Jonathan is pretty masterfully putting Christian's name out there as a potential vote. Not being pushy, just suggestive. And then when Christian gets back and Devens tells him he's in trouble, he pretty much seals his fate with his Ozzy pitch to Cirie. Well, that, and the fact that HE HAS TO VOTE FOR HIMSELF. Rizo's right. It's a vote in the bank. They want to take him out eventually. Might as well do it now.

I'm honestly not sure if Christian had any way to save himself after losing the challenge on his journey. He could have not gone on the journey, sure. But he might have still be in trouble because of his betrayal of Jonathan. I still think that if he hadn't made any promises to Jonathan, he might have been fine. Or, at the very least, if he said he wanted to switch his vote after Devens "found" the idol, he could have saved face. He had good reason to switch.

Christian has played a pretty amazing social game this season. And he's taking some big swings. And it really is so much about luck and how the chips fall. I would have loved to see him go farther, if not all the way, but I'm glad we had him for this long. He's a good guy.

Back on that barge, feeling his loss, he sat for a moment and thought about what this meant for him. And he talked to us, the audience. And he talked to his son.

"Michael, I want you to pick yourself up. You are not defined by the moments you fall short. You are defined by what you do after."

And so he picked himself up.