Season 50, Episode 13: We've Come to the End

Well hello. I want to thank you for going on this journey with me several (though not seven) months after the actual season ended. Here we are now, finally, at the end. The Season 50 Finale! A live one! (At the time, anyway.) The first live one in several (perhaps more than seven?) years. Everyone has gained back much of their lost weight but no one knows who the winner is. I mean, we do, yes, but let's pretend that we don't. For funsies.

In the beginning there were 24. Now there are 5. Joe. Rizo. Jonathan. Aubry. Tiffany. This is who is left when we begin our final descent. Folks, welcome to Fiji. It's hot!

I remember when the names were released of who was going to be competing, trying to decide who my favorites to win were. Who I wanted to win (Cirie but I'd be happy with Aubry, Charlie, Devens, or Christian. Ask me a different day and I'd feel excited about Tiffany or Genevieve. It was hard not to think about how nice it would be for Jenna to take a win this time. Q has such an infectious personality, I'd have loved to see him in final three). Who I thought might have a good chance (changed by the minute and mood). I don't mind saying it would have been pretty impossible to predict. Everyone brings strengths as well as struggles. Only Rizo and Savannah were without reputation among their fellow players but, as we learned, stories were shared about their games and certainly them being unknowns could be both a positive or a negative. But everyone else? Certainly, going in, a majority of the cast had to think about who they wanted to align with and who they might want to see gone sooner than later. It was just going to be a matter of numbers, luck, and how the tribes were split at the beginning (or would continue to be split and mixed up). It could have been anyone's game! I mean, probably not Coach's (I'm so sorry, Coach!). And I would have been surprised if Mike White got very far into the merge despite his celebrity (he's already so rich!). We knew the returning winners might be perceived as more of a threat and we knew that Cirie might be feared as the mastermind she is. But, she's such a mastermind that she was able to go far in spite of her reputation!

Although a decent portion of this episode is dedicated to the live finale bits, I'll be sticking to talking about the actual competition. Except for one moment and if you've seen the finale, you know which one. Otherwise, generally, it's nice to see Cirie and Tiffany get some love and recognition. And it's sad to see Ozzy get a t-shirt that basically amounts to rubbing it in. And I'm obsessed with Genevieve in her red velvet suit.

So, as is usually the case with the season finale (but has also been the case on a few of the regular episodes), we get two tribals. Someone has to go so there can be a final four.

At the first tribal council the names on the table are Tiffany and Aubry. Jonathan won the first immunity challenge by mere seconds and the fitting in of one final puzzle piece (this after having to take a moment to go puke over the railing). Tiffany almost had it, but she wasn't quite fast enough. She came so close! If only Jonathan's puking had gone on a little bit longer.

Tiff did her best to stay. Aubry continued to fight hard. Both of them obviously and expectedly tried to sell the other as the bigger threat. It appears it was decided--among the three dudes--that Tiffany was. My guess is that they figured she would have bigger cheerleaders on the jury and was also a bigger threat to win the final immunity challenge--given that she's won a few already. Perhaps if they knew that Aubry had been practicing her Etsy Simmotion at home...

Earlier, when they returned from the tribal council where Cirie was voted off, Tiffany was upset. She packed up her stuff and marched off to be on her own, away from everyone else. Joe and Jonathan were frustrated that she was angry. Aubry tried to show understanding and offered to talk, but she wanted no part of it.

It's true that Tiffany had a right to be angry. She had a right to her feelings of frustration and betrayal. She was tired and hungry and losing friends and feeling annoyed that things were not going her way. With Cirie gone and Aubry helping make that happen, she felt a win slipping out of her grasp. She was likely mad at Aubry for voting with the guys. But I also see why there's hard feelings from other others about being on the receiving end of her anger. Somone has to go home. Not everyone can make it to the end. People have alliances. The gaming is the gaming, despite attachments. We all know this. It's not personal, even though it feels so very much personal. It's curious to me that Tiffany feels so wronged by Cirie's ouster as well as the decision to have her go next. When Jeff questions her on her frustration and she asks him why she's considered scarier than Joe who also wins a lot of challenges, he reponds with (and I'm paraphrasing), well, Joe is in their alliance, probably. And you're not.

But emotions bring humanity and so we love Tiffany for putting hers out there, despite how uncomfortable they might make Joe. How can any of us know just how hard it is to lose after putting so much effort into winning? The blood, sweat, and tears of it all? Without loved ones and comfort and regular meals and likely little sleep. Without a toothbrush! And never truly feeling certain of one's safety. I love Tiffany's very human moment of going off to sleep on her own. I love her using her own final tribal council to speak her peace. I'm so happy Tiffany was invited back to compete on Season 50. I hope we see her again. She's an amazing player and such a cool person.

Rizo says something important at the first tribal. "Unfortunately the way that Survivor is built is that for you to succeed you need others to fail."

It's something we have to accept, but it feels hard and even somewhat impossible for both the players and the audience every time it happens. Every season. And this season more profoundly and painfully than others because we root for all of them. Or most of them, anyway. But not everyone can win. And for someone to win, others have to go home (or to the jury). Others have to lose. Ozzy. Cirie. Christian. Damn, I still miss Q!

Anyway, final four it is. Aubry and Jonathan are talking about probability of there being fire making in a fight for final three. Jonathan tells us how he has spent four years practicing so that he'll never lose in a fire making challenge again. It's how he went home during his season. Jonathan has been putting in the work.

Rizo has not. Rizo also lost the fire making challenge in his season, but he returned to Fiji so soon after season 49 that he couldn't practice! Still, why he hasn't spent time during his 25 days getting good at making fire, we don't know. Anyway, he's scared. He doesn't want to be up for fire making.

Imagine what is going through Rizo's head! Out of 24 players, many of them absolute legends of the game, he's in the final 4. No one knew who he was. He had just come off another season, probably worn out and malnourished. And yet, here he is. Only Aubry, I reckon, actually (and accurately) sees him as a threat.

Jonathan tells us his plan is to sit next to Rizo and Joe at final three. Aubry wants to sit next to Joe and Jonathan. She thinks Rizo's game is too close to her own and she's seen Rizo's perform well at tribals. He knows how to talk. Joe, we think, also wants to avoid sitting next to Aubry.

Aubry hasn't won any immunity challenges this season. Apparently she's only won one in all her four seasons. I'm remembering two wins, but one must have been for a reward. Aubry tells us that for her it's "do or die" at the final immunity challenge. She feels that if she doesn't win it, she'll likely be sent home because she's "not one of them." She means Joe, Jonathan, and Rizo. They are, apparently, a tight trio. Rizo has also not won any immunity challenges. We don't know what he's thinking, but he's probably banking on Jonathan or Joe to pull out a win and keep him. No one knows before the challenge if there will be fire making, but one has to think they suspect it is likely. Aubry probably figures she'll be put up to it if she doesn't win immunity, but we have no idea who Jonathan or Joe would have go against her. Would Jonathan want to take Rizo and send Joe to make fire? Would Joe do the same to Jonathan? I wish we knew.

So the challenge is Simmotion--voted for by the fans. I think I voted for the Plinko thing. I like Simmotion but that Plinko challenge was so fun to watch. What's awesome about Simmotion, though, is how much of an equalizer it is. It doesn't involve great physical prowess. It's not a puzzle. You just have to pay attention, be present, and get in a good rhythm. Probably good hand and eye coordination is somewhat important. But if there's a challenge that Rizo or Aubry could win (besides stacking if you're Aubry), it's this one. That's my take, anyway.

Simmotion it is. Simmotion on a beautiful hilltop overlooking the ocean and Jeff narrating every moment. Rather quickly it becomes a number from West Side Story and you better believe that in the privacy of my own living room I'm pretending to be a Jet and doing my own take of Jerome Robbins' choreography. Jonathan is first to go out. Sorry, Jonathan. Then Rizo. Sorry, Rizo. Now it's Joe vs. Aubry and one has to assume that Jonathan and Rizo are desperate for Joe to take this. Of course Joe is, as well. The pressure is on. Snap. Snap. Be cool, kid! Aubry keeps focus by chanting to herself, "Left. Right." It works because she wins! She cries, hugs Jeff, falls to the ground, rises, hugs her fellow players (hand still behind her), cries some more. Honestly, it's a lovely moment. We feel her victory. I feel her victory, at least. You should, too! Underdog Aubry is victorious!

And guess what? When she learned what the potential final immunity challenges were, she ordered a little Simmotion thing from Etsy and practiced the shit out of it. Take that, Jonathan! (Also, was season 45's Carson, perhaps, the seller?)

It is announced that there will be a fire making challenge. It's what the fans voted for. Rizo says, "This is terrible." He desperately doesn't want to meet the same fate he did in 49, but he likely knows he will. "I feel so good about my game and that's what is keeping me alive right now. Damn, Rizo, how can you be so good but so bad at the same time." Heartbreaking.

Without reservation, Aubry, picks Joe to sit next to her at final three. It's a touching moment because Joe cries and thanks her and Aubry hugs him. She doesn't want Rizo there and she knows that Jonathan can beat Rizo at fire. Because Jonathan also lost the fire making challenge in his season, he's been practicing like a pyro to make sure it doesn't happen again. Apparently the man can make a fire in like 5 seconds or something. There's some amount of time given to Rizo practicing--and with Joe's help. God, Joe is truly a good human being, no? "Look, in sword fight, at least give everybody a sword," he tells us. Joe, you sweet man, you.

We arrive at the challenge. Aubry announces to the jury and Jeff that Joe is sitting next to her and Rizo and Jonathan are making fire. How many times can I write the words fire and making in this essay? Don't count, please.

Rizo gives an inspired speech about his time in the fire making (!) challenge. Jonathan tells us it's up to God. Which means, if he doesn't win the fire making, it's because God didn't want him to. (Side note: God is a Survivor fan, I guess. Well, duh.)

Jeff says something along the lines of: One of you is about to die. Will you die for the second time as you have died before?

Geez, Jeff.

Instead of watching the challenge, though, we cut to commercial (build that tension!). But what happens next? Do we come back from commercial to see how it all goes down? No, we are on stage with Jeff Probst at the live show and he's with the jury. Rizo comes out and responds to a little jostling about his game and that super confidence he has (he does call himself Rizgod, after all). Jeff makes a joke about fire making and then sends him to sit down with the jury as the final member. Rizo gives a very slight look of perpelextion and shrugs and heads to.his seat but everyone is quiet and astonished. 'What just happened?" asks Jeff. We cut to commercial.

What just happened was Jeff spoiled the results of the fire making challenge. Well, it's not like we expected Rizo to win. We knew it was highly unlikely that Jonathan wouldn't pull this one out despite Rizo doing well in his practice. Sure, sometimes things surprise you. Maybe there might have been wind (remember Sam and Teeny in Season 47?). Maybe Jonathan's nerves would have gotten the better of him. But despite the likely outcome, it was still quite alarming to have Jeff send Rizo to sit with the jury before seeing it all play out. Live television, everyone! Anything can happen!

Whew. Ok then. When we come back, Jeff turns it into a joke, announcing it as "another twist." It's all good, Jeff. Sometimes it's nice to have those little unexpected thrills. And you did great playing with it. Rolling with the punches, you super professional man. He's good at this! Let's keep him.

Rizo gets a fire going, but, as we know, he does not win. Jonathan sees that flag go up and he jumps up and down with a boisterous "Yes!" while Rizo sits there looking so crushed and defeated, rubbing his mouth as to try not to sob, it feels. He gets lovely embraces from Jonathan and Joe. And then he gives another super speech– this one a thank you and goodbye speech. Rizo, always with the speeches. But it's good, we like them. Rizo, I hope you can make a good living as one of those professional speech givers that school districts and companies hire for too much money.

Jeff has some nice words, as well. "You can't measure how well you played this game based solely on if you win or not." He goes on to say how many great players there are who have never won. He points to the jury. It's true. Cirie is the GOAT and she has never won.

Rizo is a legit great player. I didn't want him to win this time because I wanted others to win more. But I thought he deserved the 49 win (just as much as Savannah, who I feel also deserved the win despite her attempt to steal the immunity idol key from MC) and I'd love to see him play again.

The morning of their last day on the island a boat arrives with two women and a young man in an 8 year-old-boy's Mario Halloween costume. One of the women is Aubry's lovely mother, the other is Joe's "tall ass wife" (she's gorgeous, fyi) and the Mario cosplayer is actually Jonathan's brother, who is obviously not also a body builder.

It's wonderful to see their excitement as the boat approaches.

"That's my brother dude. I think that's my brother. That's my brother! That's my brother! THAT'S MY BROTHERRRRRRRR!!!"

They greet them all with sobs and hugs and soon everyone has a mimosa in hand. Jonathan shares about how his relationship with his parents is strained. He tells his brother that when he gets home he's going to fix some stuff because his time on the island "has been really heavy."

Aubry tells us how her mom is her best friend and has been one of her biggest supporters through all the tough Survivor years. We watch as Aubry's mom tells her what a spectacular person she is. Aubry shares that her loss at Kaoh Rong has troubled her for a decade because the court of public opinion says she didn't have a good social game. I don't think that's true.

This time, though, Aubry wants a different ending. She tells us about her game and how she worked to be under the radar until the end. She says her strategy was to lower her target in the beginning and then peak at just the right moment. She survived and made it to the final three through "sheer grit and determination," according to Cirie.

Joe tells us he's not naive like his last season. "I'm not worried. I'm not nervous. I'm excited to do this." He seems at peace. Joe says he realized he couldn't play the same game as he did in Season 48. He didn't want to be "chum" for the sharks. He had to get his hands dirty, meaning he had to lie sometimes. Joe is Joe. He's a good man. He's clearly a loving father and husband. We can't forget what he meant to Eva on Season 48. I do wish he wouldn't have been so judgmental of Devens for playing the Devens game. Obviously, though, he's done something right to get this far. He's pretty terrific at challenges and he has built solid relationships with other players. It's hard to call him a goat because it's not impossible for him to win, but, also, he's kind of the goat here. It just doesn't feel like like he stands a chance against Jonathan and Aubry as they head into the FTC. Perhaps there was one time when he was at risk to go home, but he didn't know that and he didn't have to fight to stay. I'm glad he feels good about his game, even the times he had to lie, but I think it's clear why Aubry picked him to sit next to her. Despite Emily beefing up his game by telling us that every single vote had to run through him, we know that won't be enough. Aubry clearly knows his story is a little too meager.

Jonathan says he's been playing hard since the beginning and that he was willing to do "whatever it takes" to win this game. Chrissy and Rizo sing his praises. And we saw that. He played a great game. He helped his tribes win challenges, he took some immunities, he bounced back from blindsides, he built relationships with the right people, and he directed some votes without being too up front about it. Jonathan tells us he's had the social and strategic game that no one saw coming. (And then he goes to do a male modeling session on the beach.)

One could argue for both Aubry and Jonathan deserving the win. For me, it falls on who I want to take it.

Enter Christian with the wisdom: Survivor is narrative warfare.

The jury– as they always do--wants everyone to own their game. They want people to own up to their lies and deception and backstabbing. And they want the final three to show up and showcase. Devens wants some drama.

Coach--looking sharp in his gray suit--is the first to ask a question: What core value that you have at home in the real world did you have to compromise on to get to the final three?

Joe says honor and integrity.

Aubry says something to the effect of not wanting to hurt people.

Jonathan shares a story about his strategy and how it's changed since his season four years ago. He basically tells us how he learned about people and played to their individual personalities. Jonathan, this does not answer the question. Jonathan is doing politics. It's like when you watch a political debate and instead of answering about foreign policy, Senator so and so pivots to what he'll do to help the middle class through job creation.

Devens asks about secrets and keeping them or not keeping them. Chrissy and Stephenie make little speeches about how wonderful Jonathan is. Cirie, Ozzy, and Tiffany seem to be pitching an Aubry win.

Joe looks resigned to his loss. Aubry is passionately telling her story. And Jonathan is actually doing a good job of calling out the jury members and letting them know he saw their game, too. In his effort to sell his own game, he's sharing about how he had to maneuver around theirs. It's pretty clever.

As the questions and comments roll out, it becomes more and more obvious that everyone already knows who they are voting for. Dee, being a solid mayor, does her best to tamper the speeches and ask for respect for the final three given how nervous they likely are. Essentially saying, hey, Joe is right there. Don't go telegraphing his loss so hard. Devens (of all people, given their history) also does his best to offer Joe some morsels. It has to be so painful to sit there and know you don't have a chance. There are previous seasons where the jury has flat out told one of the players how they don't stand a chance, which is rude, but at least that's not what is happening here. Still, it's obvious. There's the Jonathan camp (very obviously Chrissy, Coach, and Stephenie) and there's the Aubry camp (very obviously Tiffany, Cirie, and Ozzy). Perhaps Emily, Devens, Rizo, and Christian could go either way, but I'm pretty sure they lean Aubry, especially with Cirie on the jury doing her Cirie thing. Dee, I have to assume, would also have been wanting an Aubry win, especially when Jonathan tells everyone that he goaded her (Dee) into yelling at him so that she would be voted off.

Christian (again with the golden nugget) asks the big important question. Survivor is about stories, he says. Tell us yours.

There's a sports metaphor I would make if I knew sports better. But something about setting a player up to make the shot. Or the goal. You know what I mean. That's Christian with his question. What's your Survivor story, folks? Make me want to give you the two million. Bring it home.

Joe sells his game as one of adaptability. Mostly that he realized pretty quickly that he couldn't play the same game he played on 48. He was in the major league now and that meant he had to do stuff he didn't necessarily love. Like lie, I guess. And I don't doubt that he lied more than he would have liked, but I'm not sure anyone buys that he really played all that different a game. He never was, and would never be, a schemer. It is lovely that Joe says he wants his legacy to be that he was willing to be vulnerable. Good for you, Joe. I like a man who praises vulnerability. Especially in these times.

Aubry shares about past Aubry as all nervous energy and panic. It's not exactly a cohesive narrative she tells, but the gist of it seems to be about hustle. She learned from past mistakes and she did what she had to do to get to the end. She says she evolved just like the game itself.

Jonathan's narrative themes seem to be about hard work. He committed himself to becoming the best Survivor player ever. He worked on his puzzle skills, his speaking ability, his balance, his social game, and, of course, his fire making. He put in the time and he put in the effort and he came back to win.

This means so much to them. All of them. It's obvious. Of course it would be excellent and life changing to win two million dollars, but these folks feel like they are fighting for their lives. But, as Jeff reminds us, there can be only one winner.

And however many months later it is, in front of a live studio audience, Jeff reads the votes. Jonathan worked hard, but it wasn't enough. Aubry wins. She wins 2 million dollars! (Thanks Devens!) And, wait, she also gets a car! And good for her, I guess, but I feel like they should give the car to Joe. 3rd place. No votes. Give him a car! Or even Jonathan. He spent four years practicing fire! Doesn't that deserve a car? Aubry doesn't need anything more! She's won and she's won a lot of money! It feels like an extra slap in the face to Jonathan and Joe. Well, whatever. No one asked me.

Aubry, I'm glad you won. I hope you are regularly enjoying Mac n Cheese with your kiddo and I hope you sent Cirie a really awesome gift basket. And Tiffany, too.

Actually, I really love that a woman won. These past several years have been hard on us. This past year and a half especially. You know why. Take that, MAGA. Take that, Andrew Tate and Matt Walsh wannabes. A woman won Survivor 50! Through grit and determination. So let's hear it for Aubry and her hustle. Her smarts. Her outlasting, outwitting, and outplaying. And her very cool red dress. And please, please, please vote in the midterms.