Season 50, Episode 1, Part 2: "reading people and playing this game"--Cirie, goddess, queen, the best to ever do it

Let us continue, friends.

Here we are at Cila. Cirie and Devens like Christian (I mean, how could you not?). Devens tells Cirie that Jenna is throwing her name around. Cirie wonders if it's jealousy. Like, she can't help it if she's a queen. So true. Here's our first glimpse of the magic that is Cirie. People, they just love her. No one can help themselves. She's getting the goods on what's happening without even really trying.

Ozzy and Cirie have a sit down and solidify their alliance again. Ozzy admits that Cirie will be helpful for him. Smart, Ozzy. He needs to be connected with someone like Cirie–someone who can navigate the social play more strategically. They are gonna be each other's number one. Honestly, it's heartwarming and gives me tingly and positive feelings.

At Vatu, there's a fashion show, which means people are having fun and enjoying the vibes. It's a good thing. Kyle is rocking a tube top buff. Suddenly and surprisingly, Colby is a fan of Rizo. Won over by his joy and enthusiasm, I guess. That was fast. What are we, two days in? Colby is putting himself in a fatherly/mentor position and Rizgod is getting emotional. Damn. It all feels very genuine. It appears Colby sees a little of himself in the young upstart that is Rizo (I don't get it, but I guess if we can all remember that we were once younger--like 25--then we can make that leap. For example, I was once also once 27, just like Elle Fanning. So I guess I can see myself in her). Rizo confesses that he wants "to be remembered as one of the greatest players to ever play this game." I believe he said the same thing last season. We know, Rizo, we know. If I ever get on Survivor, I'm just gonna say, "Look, I just want to be remembered at all."

On Kalo, Jonathan is telling us his new plan of action this time around. He wants to be more strategic. Being more fluid, he says, as we also see him do some beach yoga. He tells us he's more like an old school player: "more honest and more genuine." Hmm. I think there were plenty of non honest and non genuine players in the old school days. And I think there are tons of genuine players in the modern era. Lying has always happened. But you can be genuine in relationship building and still lie when you have to lie. I know Jonathan will also lie when he has to lie because he wants to win. No offense, Jonathan, but this is bullshit.

Also on Kalo, Dee is being talked about as a target. I mean, of course she is. She's a previous winner and she's a flippin' badass player on all levels of the game. I would target her, too. Unless I had her on my side. Luckily for Dee, she's connecting with Tiffany and Kamilla. They are bonding over wanting to play hard but also have a good time. Kamilla says, and I quote, "Me, Tiff, and Dee all want to have a little bit of fun and then slaughter someone. And then have a little bit of fun. And then slaughter someone." She's not about the "honor and integrity" goofiness. She had that on 48 and she's "so sick of it." Yes! We (I mean me) love this for her.

Our first immunity (and also reward) challenge has arrived and Probst and production have decided to do the ole birthed in mud thing. Everyone going hard, burrowing through netted tunnels then lifting sandbags and throwing coconuts. We have a moment of Mike White admiration from Ozzy and gang. "Hitting the White Lotus gym," says Christian (I think?). Then there's what Jeff calls the "monkey's fist." Critical role, he says. It's throwing a rope with a sort of rope ball at the end in such a way as to latch a v-shaped contraption so that you can yank it down. That makes sense, right? You gotta lasso and lasso right. Cirie is struggling. Jeff is yelling at her. Don't yell at Cirie, Jeff. She's doing her best.

Kalo and Vatu are leading and their members are trying to get up a ramp, which is hard because it's steep and they are muddy. You either run and launch yourself far enough up to catch the rim and pull yourself up or you climb someone (like a Jonathan). Kyle is really going for it and, ope, he's hurt himself. His face doesn't show any pain or frustration, but he's limping. He tries to go again and nope. He falls over and Probst calls medical to come check him out. It is obvious that Kyle wants to keep going. They do what they have to do to get him up that ramp. Q steps up as man-tree. Meanwhile, Cirie is still struggling with the monkey's fist and Ozzy is getting on his hands and knees. Is he resting? Praying? I don't know. Cirie finally gets it and they act like the muddy wall ain't nothing and Probst is thrilled by Joe's amazing climb to the top on his own. But the Kalo tribe is practically already done with the puzzle thanks to Kamilla and Chrissy's rockstar skills. Vatu comes in second.

Cila loses and Cirie looks pained.

In her confessional, Savannah tells us how Cirie "totally blew it" and "honestly it was the most painful thing I've ever seen on Survivor" and come on now, Savannah? The most painful thing? How can she forget about Survivor 47 and Rome's attempts at the puzzle all by his lonesome and getting absolutely nowhere for several minutes. Was it hours? It felt like hours. I'm sure there are heaps more examples of challenge failures far more dramatic than Cirie's lasso issues. Plenty (plenty plenty!) of castaways have struggled in moments at challenges. The pressure is a lot and they are tired and hungry and hot (or cold or soaked). It feels quite unfair to lay everything at Cirie's feet here and be so harsh. Savannah's competitive spirit getting the better of her, I feel.

Well, here we have a shot of sharks. We know what that means. Someone is going to die. And by die I mean, get voted out. Not bitten by a shark or eaten by a shark. Or maybe it's a comment by production on the viciousness of those coming for our girl. Cirie is struggling and feeling bad and we don't want to see it because we love her and are rooting for her and we've all been there. And by we I mean me, but of course, all of us all the world over who watch and love Survivor and Cirie Fields.

Now Jenna's telling us how Cirie tanked the entire challenge. Again, damn. Sure, Cirie was last to get the monkey paw thing, but who knows if they would have completed the puzzle ahead of the other two teams who both had puzzle beasts on them. It just feels so harsh. So, so harsh. I'm now mad at Jenna and Savannah and feel extra appreciative for Ozzy throwing some kindness her way. Ozzy is ride or die with Cirie, he tells us. He's not liking Jenna's "amped up" way of starting the game and coming hard for Cirie. And, truly, Jenna is being way too messy here. She's not feeling anything out (hey guys, what are you thinking?), she's just announcing the plan. Even telling Ozzy that she doesn't know if she can trust him when it comes to Cirie, which will only make Ozzy not feel safe with her. Oh, you tell me how to vote and then tell me you don't trust me. Why would he want to play with her? It's not good social game play on Jenna's part. Again, I sort of love that she's ready to go, itching to really play, but contain it. Contain. It. Use caution. Be a ninja not a a gladiator.

Ah yes, here's Christian really summarizing it all nicely. Jenna is playing "too hard to fast" and they'll all have to maneuver around "her game" where as Cirie is more "emotional and open" and easier to connect with. See, be easy. In Survivor, in life. Christian continues with awesome social play. He asks Joe what he's thinking. He asks him if he feels good about the plan. How democratic! Let me hear your thoughts, get your opinions, explore your feelings. Inclusivity. It's good!

Apparently Ozzy wasn't tactful enough, though, because Joe is feeling cornered. He doesn't want anyone to tell him, "this is the vote." (See, all of us have a little bit of Oppositional Defiance Disorder. It's the American way). Plus, he's genuinely worried about losing more challenges. He sees Jenna as a better challenge player than Cirie (is he forgetting about puzzles? because I think Cirie is good at those). Savannah and him converse about what they'd like to see: Cirie gone. Furthermore, Joe is having lingering 48 scaries. The Kyle and Kamilla thing left its scars, apparently. He's now extra wary of an Ozzy and Cirie behind-the-scenes alliance. I mean, he's not wrong. Cirie is a lot more "masterful" than Jenna is.

Oh boy, now Emily and Devens are discussing if they should consider Ozzy. There seems to be a plan cooking to vote Ozzy. Could this be real? Christian is making a play for tribe unity and positive feelings. They all have to go back to camp together after the vote. That's a great point. Christian, you are so good at this.

Tribal council. Our first one. It feels holy. I know Cirie feels afraid, but does Jenna have any idea her name has been thrown around? I'm certain Ozzy does not.

Jenna calls the tribal set up "sadly beautiful." Jenna, full of gravitas. At the beginning of the episode, she talked about the "wonder" and "sense of adventure" in being part of the game of Survivor. She shared that during her first two seasons she learned the most about herself and now she wonders, "What else do I have to learn?" And now we have a sadly beautiful tribal council. We are learning about death, Jenna. We are learning about death. Because, yes, life is a journey and it's full of highs and lows (and so much middle), but it comes to an end.

And tonight, Jenna's Survivor life--like her torch--has been extinguished. She's not happy. No hugs for Ozzy. I feel for her, of course. Jenna, we are glad you showed up and fought hard. I hope your time was something you found meaningful.

And that is not the end of the episode! Because we are back with the Vatu tribe and Kyle is talking about his injury and Stephenie and Genevieve (with their cute pink backpacks) are idol hunting. And Genevieve makes a discovery– it's a Billie Eilish Boomerang Idol! Genevieve has to send it to someone else and if that someone else gets voted off with the idol in their pocket, it comes back to her. She tells Kyle and she tells Stephenie so that means they are all aligned. Genevieve wants to pick someone she thinks will get blindsided. She bets on Ozzy. Not because she wants to help him, but because she thinks that idol would come back to her. Ozzy has a history of being blindsided.

On Cila, Ozzy is being the provider and Rick Devens thinks it's hysterical that Ozzy is being so Ozzy. He's assuming Ozzy is doing his old tactics--hoping to win favor through food, but it appears that Ozzy just can't help himself. I mean, Ozzy wants to eat, too! And Ozzy knows how to do things, so why not? But Ozzy has bigger ideas and plans for himself this time around. He's thrilled to find the idol Genevieve sent him. He can only play it for himself. Now he has an extra vote and an idol! Along with his terrible mullet.

Here comes a boat. The blue tribe (Kalo) is excited, especially Mike White. Mike White wants to go and Mike White goes. Colby goes from Vatu and Savannah goes from Cila. Mike White is giving us a great Mike White narration. He learns that Coach robbed the key from Ozzy and Ozzy is pissed. Drama. Only two can play the journey game and Mike White does not get the chance. Dude, why even send three people if one is going back immediately? That's no fun. Colby and Savannah play a stacking game to be able to keep their vote. Let me just say, Colby, I like his energy this time. He's being such a chill dad type. There's a moment when Savannah's back is turned and it looks like the structure is going to fall over and he holds it up. Is that legal? I don't know, but it doesn't matter because when he does finally let go, it falls over. He loses his vote and rides away in his pink boat. Savannah, meanwhile, gets an advantage. A dynamic one! A secret block a vote. Makes one wonder what the less dynamic advantages are.

On Kalo, Mikę tells Coach that Ozzy isn't happy with Coach's key stealing shenanigans. And Coach is disturbed because we all know Coach fancies himself a noble knight full of honor. He didn't break his word (which, to him, apparently, is everything) so he did not lose his honor. He didn't promise Ozzy that he wouldn't steal the key. Therefore, honor remains, I guess. Oh Coach.

Lol, Vatu. Both Q AND Colby don't have votes. Q says, "this is bad." Have I mentioned how much I love Q?

Savannah is not telling anyone that she has an advantage. And she correctly worries that her tribe might not believe her. Not sure what her right move would have been here. Maybe just telling her tribe and gaining their trust. As one of the previous winners (with Kyle and Dee), she's in a hard position. Even more so because no one has seen her game. They have no idea what to expect from her.

Oh, no, Kyle is getting a check. Jeff has arrived with the Aussie doctor. Kyle looks worried and his tribe mates do too. Aussie doctor is checking on his achilles tendon, which would be a bad thing to injure. I'm uncomfortable watching this because I don't like medical stuff AT ALL. Looking away, looking away, looking away. (I actually beg my doctors not to do reflex tests on me because they creep me out so much).

Welp, it's bad. Achilles tendon injury. Probst is like, you can't stay Kyle. Kyle, you in danger, girl. Kyle, don't screw your future. Stupid muddy ramps! People are getting teary and Kyle says some lovely goodbyes. We are bummed. And by we, I mean me. But all of us, right? Because Kyle is an incredible Survivor player. Genuine and strategic, too! Take that, Jonathan.